Deuce Deuce

"Oh, so now you decide to write a blog." Sure, I get it. I hear your murmuring. But it's not necessarily about you, mkay? This is written for one person and one person only... my baby girl. This will also double as my attempt at avoiding any sibling bickering in the teenage years, because you know what? I will freakin' turn this van around so FAST! That's it... somebody just lost ice cream privileges. Daddy's going to eat it now. I DON'T CARE, I'M EATING IT!

Nah, really I decided to squeeze in a little blog prior to my baby girl's arrival, just to let her know the price her momma has paid for her as well as the happenings during her gestational years. And first things first, baby E, I'm sorry I haven't been able to write more about your life as a fetus... it's really your brother's fault. That, and work. Oh, and your mother made me paint some things... then there was this baseball game on and I started reading a book about evolution and how crazy that is... your Aunt Jessi got pregnant and there was a shower that we wanted to go to... then your Uncle JJ left to go see Sydney (the city)... the Texas Rangers got in the pennant race...


This pregnancy, without a doubt, has been a little rougher on your momma. She's puked more in the beginning, felt much worse in the beginning, her body aches more now than at this time with your brother. She's had less crazy dreams, but that's probably because she's gotten much less sleep than with Max. But, the one positive for Nicole is that she has also craved more Jalapeno Poppers from Sonic than she did with Max this time around. So that is good. I know your momma is really excited to add to the female population in the family. But E, you're going to have to remember: Just because the boy to girl ratio in the family is a dead heat, tie goes to the daddy. Always. Accept it now and it won't bother you later.

Anyway, before we start, let me first describe to you how your mother got pregnant in the first place. Haha. No, I'm kidding. Let me first tell you just how pumped I am to have a baby girl. I couldn't be more happy, and surprisingly, I couldn't be more scared at the same time. What am I going to do with a girl? This was my first thought as the announcement was typed across the sonogram screen to us... "Oh it's a girl? Really? How's that going to work?". Since then, it really has sank in. I'm really excited. Still scared, mind you, but really excited. I hear you are going to prefer me, which will be a nice, but not surprising, because I'm awesome, so you should. But, when I think about having a daughter, I know that how I treat you, act in front of you and how I treat your mother when you're around will weigh heavy on things like self-esteem when you're older, and your preferred behavior in the man you marry someday (if you want that), and millions of other things, and it freakin' FREAKS ME OUT! Feels like I need to tighten up the reigns on myself a little. Need to give myself a make-over, which I have been doing. I've been minding my P's and Q's. I'm ready.... worried... but ready. And I'm really looking forward to it. Brace yourself E... this is your daddy.


So, Emerson, in honor of your rapidly approaching arrival, here's a list of "Get to know you's" that you should know about your daddy.

Things you should know about me and accept:

1. The following things that make me mad (occurring individually or simultaneously): a.) Being real tired. b.) The Aggies losing. c.) Death d.) Self-inflicted injuries while doing something stupid while someone is watching(especially when the stupidity only becomes clear after said injury) e.) people being inconsiderate of other people or other people's property f.) people with unfounded senses of entitlement


2. The following things make me happy (occurring individually or simultaneously): a.) free food b.) The Aggies winning c.) Texas Tech losing d.) Donuts e.) Extreme weather events (minus the death, obviously, see note 1c above) f.) Crazy animal videos e.) Babies laughing


3. I prefer to watch sporting events live, but hate paying for parking.


4. I've dunked a basketball, more than once, and it is cool the first couple of times, but loses its luster pretty quickly... nah, i'm kidding. It is pretty cool.


5. Knows how all romantic comedies end.


6. My biggest fear: Alzheimer's.


7. My next biggest fear: Burning alive.


8. #1 thing I want to do before I die: Be inside a shark tank with a big shark outside the tank.


9. I will embarrass you and am kind of looking forward to it.


10. I will try give you the best I have and and will love you forever.

C'mon home baby girl. I've got some Aggie football games I want you to watch.

No Hands Required

Well, I've taken the liberty, now that I've had a 1 day break from work and it's spurs, to invest some time in the blog world and related family updates. I don't know where to begin with Max. Since I fell off the wagon a few months ago, he's pretty much turned into a different child. But I'll try:

The first thing you need to know about Max is that I think he must be developing the athletic prowess that comes from ceither the Bishop/Drake genes, or from my father's genes. His calf muscles are really crazy. Kind of a weird source of pride for me, but they are surprisingly muscular. His daddy did eventually develop some calf muscles, but not until well after puberty. This kid has got them now and it really makes smile. Is it weird to point them out to other people? "Hey, Max... come here and show them your calf muscles!". haha... sorry bud... but you are headed down through the turbulent road toward embarrassment. But for real... if he would slow down for half a second, I would snap a picture, but he's too fast!

Another thing you need to know about pork chop is that his eyes are ridiculously good. He can spot airplanes high in the sky that take Nicole and I a few seconds to locate. And by the time we find them, and say, "Oh yeah, that is a plane", he's already done his airplane sound and is on to better things. He does graciously repeat after us when we say "Good eyes"... he says, "EYESSSS!". He's also quite keen at spotting buses, fire trucks, DART trains and alarms in houses and businesses. He is really enamored with alarms for some reason. He sees them, says "ARM" and then proceeds to make the alarm noises. Perfect example of bad parenting... tonight, I was showing Max that the glass break detector can pick up clapping noises. Then, obviously got carried away clapping (like any normal person would), and wouldn't you know that I set the whole house alarm off. The blaring siren caught me way off guard, because who knew my clapping could actually do that. So naturally, I'm stunned and freaked out, and so the first thing I thought of was to "MAKE IT STOP". So I ran into the kitchen to turn it off before I realized that I left Max right where he was. So, the alarm is off before I realize this, and start coming back for my boy, now realizing that in his eyes, it looked like I was getting the hell out of there and leaving him... what an idiot I am!!! Sorry bud. Dad pretty much goes off of instincts, and his instincts are not so hot sometimes. Naturally, Max came to me running and scared... then after a minute or 2, he wanted to clap at the alarm more. He's an animal.

Oh man... look at this post already. Let me drop a few of the likes and dislikes on you before I set the scene for the newest movie/video installment.

Likes

1. Alarms
2. Fire trucks
3. His drum (good call Nicole)
4. Blackberries, Blueberries
5. Fish (as in gold fish crackers)
6. Hippos
7. His new car bed
8. Tickling other people
9. Climbing on rock climbing walls
10. Kicking
11. Dogs

Dislikes

1. Bed time (his long time nemesis)
2. Pasta
3. Dada appearing to run away when s*** hits the fan
4. Other undisciplined kids messing with his most favorite possessions
5. Mom or dad brushing his teeth against his will
6. Mom or dad doing anything against his will, really

So here's the video set up. Max likes to kick things now. He's really getting good at kicking soccer balls and other miscellaneous items. Miscellaneous items include cars, walls and doors. Max has always been good at shutting doors around the house, but shutting it with his hands is apparently getting old, as you will see in the video. Enjoy everybody. Love you.

Pocket full of Sunshine

Wow, has it really been over a month since my last post? I'm not going to lie... I knew what was happening and I didn't do much to stop it. I was being a little indulgent... just enjoying life. My hours at work have fallen way back, so spending some extra time with Max and Nicole has really been nice. I have a very entertaining family, so I have really enjoyed it. For instance, Max is learning his numbers. The biggest number he knows right now is 9. So discussions with him go like this lately:

Nicole: "Max, how many crackers would you like for your snack?"
Max: "Nine".

While I was away, I've taken the liberty to take a few sweet videos of the Pork Chop. Here's one for all to see... Max has really taken to the challenges that can come with walking. He likes to test the limits on steps, hills, bags of mulch, you name it, he'll try to walk over it. Given that the inside of our house isn't much excitement for such an accomplished walker, Max tries to spice it up a little. This installment has him walking around with his hand in his pocket, you know... for the challenge. Enjoy!


Here's a quick likes/dislikes list, to bring you up to speed:


LIKES:

1. Buses. (Even says "Sit DOWN BUS!" when he sees one.)
2. Airplanes in the sky.
3. Dogs.
4. Firetrucks.
5. Naked running in circles through the house.
6. Bubbles. ("BUBBLES!!!")
7. Spending alone time in the laundry room.
8. Chasing pigeons that stay just out of reach.
9. JUICE! JOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!
10. Strawberries, Blackberries, Blueberries and Green Grapes.

DISLIKES:

1. Bedtime
2. Being hungry
3. Changing clothes and diapers in the morning.
4. Changing clothes and diapers at bedtime.
5. Momma not rocking him at night.
6. Rules restricting his ability to stand on flimsy chairs.
7. Rules in general.
8. Falling.

Pushing it

So... let me paraphrase what was written about Maddox on his Daily Report at daycare yesterday:

"Max was very agressive today. He pushed his friends and tried to bite them."

Uh-oh! Sounds like his teachers don't agree with his method of "affection". Hello daycare teacher... Pain = Love.

But for real... this was what was on his paper. I talked to the teacher about it. She said that he opens his mouth and puts it on his friends, but just doesn't bite down. To me, after conferring with Nicole and Nana, this is his way of kissing. For some reason, Pork Chop likes to kiss open mouth. I won't go into sordid detail on who he may or may not have learned this from (Granny You and Grandpa Bish... you are mentioned here for no specific reason), but it is his way of kissing. So, not too worried about this one. Chances of him open mouth kissing you while you are trying to rock him to sleep are in the 95% range. It's a good night when you don't step out of the room and quietly wipe the slobber off your face. But it is endearing and we all love it.

But, the real trouble comes from accusations of him pushing a specific girl named Madeline or from laying on top of all of his friends, not letting them up. Per conversation with teacher, he lays on them until they start crying to get up. I know I would feel differently if the roles were reversed, and he layed on me and wouldn't let me up, but this is really really funny. C'mon... who does that? What a sight that must be... friend falls across the room, Maddox expertly notices and the race is on.... sweet Maddox shuffling as fast as he can go... fallen comrade, sees Maddox in route, struggling to get up before the flop that will pin him for an indefinite amount of time, then ofcourse, the flop... probably a giggle from our sweet boy... then silence, as Max has makes his body limp, in efforts to maximize his weight distribution... AWESOME! I wished I could see it... but the image I have in my head right now is pretty priceless.

And the pushing down of the girl we will call "Madeline"... apparently there is another kid in the class who actually is a bully. He pushes Madeline down all the time. The teachers said they think Max thinks its a game to push her down, because he sees the bully do it. So I will accept this expanation for now. I haven't seen Madeline, but for Maddox to think its fun, she must really put on a show. I wonder if she makes a funny noise when she hits the ground or something. Who knows... maybe she sweaks. Or maybe candy falls out of her hair or something.

That's all for now... just wanted to fill everybody in.

Benefiber Jokes

Oh the greatness that is having a son! Here's a little insight into how great my life is. A few nights ago, Max was having a snack before bed time. So Nicole, me and Maddox are in the living room watching some TV while Maddox is snacking. One of the commercials that comes on is a commercial for Benefiber. If you haven't seen it and feel like you need to, here's a link: Benefiber Commercial. For those not wanting to waste the time, here's a quick run down. There is a girl in a tennis outfit promoting Benefiber while she moves her body around. It's nothing awkward, just kind of funny considering what they are selling... which is fiber so you can go to the bathroom regularly. So here's the conversation as it took place:

Me: "Nicole, you know why that girl is moving around so much?"
Nicole: "Why?"
Me: "Because she has to POOP!"
Nicole: (silence, hoping the moment will pass.)
Maddox: "HA!"

Oh having a son is greatness already! Sorry babe. You'll warm up to the poop jokes in due time. Just don't force it. (insert hemorrhoid joke here).

Life on the Edge

Well, again sorry for the delay between posts. Dada is still working on the bathroom remodel. This bathroom remodel MUST be worse than child birth. I've been in labor with this thing for 3 months now!!

Max has been super awesome lately. Everything I thought a baby boy would be. Let's see, first things first, he came home from daycare last week wearing his "change of clothes" that are a requirement in case something unmentionable happens at daycare. This unmentionable; however, involves mass quantities of finger paint/body paint. Apparently they were finger painting at daycare last week and something went horribly wrong, leaving Maddox coated with paint - head to toe. See exhibits A and B below. He had paint in his hair (remnants still on the back of his head, even after a washing by his daycare teachers). He had paint all over his shirt... mostly on the back and arms. How he got paint on his back I will never know. It was almost like he was making snow angels with finger paint. And of course, all over his shoes. This is one of those moments that is really too funny to be mad at anybody. Although, lets be honest... the "washable" finger paint is only about 90% washable. And in mass quantities, it really reduces down to be about 75% washable. Don't believe the hype.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Another reason I'm super glad to have a son lately is because he is on the verge of really being able to enjoy live sporting events. As Nicole mentioned in her blog, we all went to the Dallas Stars game and it was awesome. I was so proud to be there with Nicole and my boy! Sure, we were 1 row from the very top, but that doesn't matter. Plus, the higher up you are, the more stuff you can see... and point at. Max was a champ. He sat in his chair the entire 2nd period... just eating popcorn and soaking it all in. Intermission was complete with several Zambonis that we got to see and point at. And the entire 3rd period was viewed while standing in his seat. If you asked him if he would like to sit in your lap so he could see better, you received his patented head shake. He was just happy to be out I think. It was a great first hockey game.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Reason #3 I'm happy to have a son lately... look at what he wanted to do with his chair. Exhibit C below shows his preferred location to sit. New flimsy, lightweight red chair... oh lets put that on the kangaroo climber and hang out up there for a little while. Why not? Let's go ahead and push the limits of "safety" as far as we can. What's the worst that can happen, right? Oh, and yes, this attitude lately has got us a bloody nose last week (the first ever) and 2 bloody lips this week. On Sunday, on the way to church, his body was moving a little too fast for his feet and his face paid the price. Bloody lip number 1. Then at daycare today, more of the same. Bloody lip and all. He's an animal though. He usually only accepts loving for about a minute before throwing his body at the ground for you to put him down. That's my boy!

From First of the Year Pics

His the latest on his likes/dislikes list:

Likes

1. Going Outside.
2. Juice.
3. Living life dangerously.
4. Mama putting him down.
5. Wheels on the Bus (the song).
6. Bathtime.
7. The speed and uncontrolled feeling you get right before you face plant.
8. Stairs.
9. Chairs.
10. Blackberries.
11. His red shoes.
12. Flushing toilets.

Dislikes

1. Actually face planting.
2. Diaper changes.
3. Being hungry.
4. Being done with dinner early, but having to wait at the table while dada finishes.
5. Dada rocking him to sleep.
6. Frustration that his Lightning McQueen won't get on the brick fireplace like he's supposed to!
7. Waking up by himself.
8. Not having his red shoes on.

Baby Max has become Baby Boy Max

Sorry for the delay between posts. Life hit pretty hard. Nicole and I have been working hard working and doing bathroom remodels. I feel like I'm in college all over again... staying up till 1am and 2am. Only now I'm up working, not partying, and I'm trying to be as quiet as I can be, rather than as loud as I can be. Life is funny.

Max is no longer baby Max. He has turned into a little man before my eyes. He's gotten stocky and big. Before too much longer, we're going to have to start warning people about his strength and quickly changing temperament. Do not, I repeat, do not take his plastic screwdriver away from him... ever. Could he possibly fall and jam it in his eye? Sure. But it's HIS eye and HIS screwdriver. And mom already saw it and didn't say anything. So just walk away dad. Just walk away!

He's really been fun lately, outside of a few temper tantrums, and sure... the face slapping. But he means well. He told me he's just wanting to know where the line is, so he knows not to cross it. That is always his intent, really. He loves us. But seriously, he has been a bundle of laughs lately. This may be the best age to have a child. Here's a few of his highlights:

• He's been talking a lot. He has mastered all the consonants. Well enough to use them in really long words or foreign people's names, if he wanted to. Tonight he rediscovered the "L" consonant. So everything he said either ended with an "L" or started with an "L". Previously it was the "GHK". Trianghkle. Sghkuare. Dadaghk. He almost sounded Russian.
• He's also turned into quite the dare devil. Everything in life exists for him to either sit on, stand on or climb on. Falling is a myth. An urban legend if you will. At least it is until dada gets distracted talking to Papa on the phone. Thats usually the perfect time to somersault off the kangaroo climber in the sun room, and land on the floor forehead first, back second. Let the frustration crying and screaming commence. "Where were you dadaghk?" Worst feeling in the world by the way. I'm still kicking myself.
• Lately he has mastered his own spin on the classic animals. He knows which books have which animals, and if he wants to do one of his animal impressions, he'll bring you the book with the correct animal, and do said animal impersonation before you even open the book. It's really funny. It goes like this: "Oh, thanks for the book Max. You want to read it?" Then he gives you his elephant or wolf or cow. Then you open the book to read it to him, and he walks away. It is classic. If only I could remember everything he does. His elephant is a scream. He locks his body down and squeezes out a high pitched scream. The wolf involves him throwing his head back and fashioning his mouth into a circle as he looks at the ceiling. The howling sound isn't quite as scary as a real wolf, but intimidating, nonetheless. And the cow is the same old "moo" sounding cow, but with a really pronounced M.

Okay, I'll try to stop here. Here's a quick list of likes and dislikes followed by some pics.

Likes:

1. Construction Equipment - All Kinds.
2. Papa.
3. Mama rocking him to sleep.
4. Climbing on things.
5. Outside.
6. Riding things or sitting on things.
7. Waving at random people.
8. Plastic screwdrivers capable of impairing his eye site forever.
9. "GHK" sounds.
10. Turtles and monkeys from build-a-bear.

Dislikes:

1. Dada rocking him to sleep.
2. Discipline for face slapping.
3. Falling.
4. Grocery shopping that involves more than 1 grocery store.
5. Pea skins.
6. Diaper changes.
7. When papa isn't paying attention to him.
8. Pasta.

Here's a quick slide show to get everybody up to date. Look how big he has gotten. My boy is a tank!!

Show me your TEETH!

Oh kids are really fun. The two pictures above are what you get when you ask Maddox to "Show us your teeth". Rather than pointing to them like every other body part, he just orients his mouth in such a way to enable you to see them. Much like a grizzly or a great white. It's startling just the same. And much like a grizzly or a great white, he's slowly moving up the food chain. Right now his meals typically consist of graham-crackers, ritz crackers, gold fish or kix cereal. But we are working on him. I think the scientific term for this is cracker-sweets-a-vore. If he would just dabble in the herbivore laire for even a day, it'd be perfect. But alas, such is life... nothing is ever truly perfect, is it?

Other than this bit of fun, dada's turning 32 today. Where did the time go? I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always be stupefied about how quickly time goes by. It's the one thing in life I will never understand. Well, one of the many really. Others would be: 1.) How can food taste so dang good going down one minute and so shockingly bad coming back up a few minutes later? 2.) If we are really supposed to have evolved from monkeys, why are they so hairy everywhere except their butts? Wouldn't this be the exact opposite of us? Not to completely scoreboard anybody here, but: Cody 1, Darwin 0. )

So Maddox has been great lately. He still much prefers his mother over me. I'm kind of on the same level as any other random stranger that looks fun and slightly familiar. But that's okay. I've got one thing going for me. Nobody, and I mean Nobody, can chase him like I can. I'll gladly claim that title. I know you are thinking it's on odd title to claim. And well, you may be right, but then again, it's my birthday today, and I'm taking it. Being chased is really his favorite thing in life right now. Being chased while outside? That's the icing on the cake man. Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Max has also been quite the charmer lately. I know Nicole disagrees with me here, but sometimes when he "gets in trouble" it's really him just trying to entertain and interact with us. Before I go any further, I'll be the first to admit he does push the limits a lot. But sometimes he's just trying to joke around. He does throw his share of fits though. A weird analogy popped into my head the other day. Most of his early fits really happened when he was with Nicole or Nana and Papa. I've really not had a fit thrown on me. At least not until a few days ago. It was really a lot like fishing. Other people on our boat would catch a fish (aka a fit) from Maddox, all while I was within watching distance. Nicole was catching a lot. Nana and papa caught a few. For the longest, I'd see them reel little Maddox in with him flopping around and freaking out. I would wonder, when's my turn going come. I've been out here for awhile now. What's it going to feel like? How am I going to know if it is one and not him just playing around? What's it going to be like and better yet, how big is it going to be? Well, I caught one this week. It was kind of cool. I was thinking to myself, and I swear it was similar to the feeling you get when you feel your line first tug with a fish... "Oh, what's this? Oh. Do I have one?" Then, as Max goes straight leg and the screaming starts low and grows louder with a quickness, I realize that I actually do have one. It was great!! He totally arched his back and started kicking. Legs kicking, back arched, but head, neck and arms completely limp. I've seen bigger, but this one was mine and I ate it up. Thanks pork-chop.

Likes:

1. Being chased.
2. Mama.
3. Outside.
4. Walking in the street.
5. Pushing shopping carts.
6. Graham Crackers.
7. Cars, dumptrucks, diggers.
8. Talking jibberish.
9. Shrek.
10. Making the elephant noise.
11. Slides.

Dislikes:

1. Bed time.
2. Green vegetables not named Pea.
3. Hunger.
4. Face plants while running away from dada.
5. Seeing the back door, grasping at the door knob, yet not being able to get across his intention to go outside to his mom and dad.
6. Not getting comfortable enough to sleep at night.
7. Leg cramps/growing pains.
8. A&M's losing football season.
9. Beef.
10. Bath-tub removal.

A Grizzly Halloween

From Grizzly Halloween

Wow, what happened to October? Holy moly. It felt like I had been falling down on the job lately, but apparently that is an understatement. Sorry guys. I'll try and make it up with some pictures and videos like usual. It's my equivalent to flowers for the bad husband. If you are left thinking "But, he loves me" at the end of this, then mission accomplished.

On to pork chop... He is learning more tricks by the day. In the past week he's learned to moo like a cow, trumpet/squeal like an elephant and that the "Beep, beep" noise means he needs to take his dump truck backwards. And the latest spin on this is that now while walking, he will actually start to walk backwards when you make the noise, before slamming it into drive and speed walking till he falls down. All of these things, obviously, require Max to quote - "feel like it" before it gets done. Kids these days.

Halloween was a blast. We travelled to Keller to trick-or-treat with the cousins, Jack and Molly. Jack was Optimus Prime from the Transformers and Molly was Gabriella from High School Musical. Max went as a grizzly bear. It was a great time. Surprisingly, even though Max is only 15 months, he really caught on to the whole, "here's my bucket, give me candy" idea. So much so that towards the end, he didn't really even show his bucket to the people so much as just grab for their candy. For the last few houses, he even started taking off his costume. The paws and hat went overboard. He was really awesome. The people were so awe-inspired by his cuteness as a bear cub that when we shamefully apologized for his big paws grabbing more than one piece of candy, one lady said "Oh no, he can have as much as he wants!!" Then, when finished rummaging through their candy and dispensing of his fake feelings for them, he would hustle back to the wagon we pulled him in and he'd point to the next house for us to go. It was a great Halloween.

So, without further a-do... here's a quick list of likes and dis-likes followed by some pictures of Max at the State Fair of Texas (petting zoo), Halloween and him wearing his bear feet tonight.

Likes:

1. Bread. All kinds.
2. Nana and Papa, equally.
3. Momma.
4. Trucks and cars. All kinds.
5. Leaf blowers.
6. Making his feet dance.
7. Wearing bear feet in the days after Halloween.
8. M&M's (chocolate only).
9. Slides and trampolines, equally.
10. Falling asleep to his dada singing "My little buttercup" from the 3 Amigos.
11. Making tight turns while walking. (Both to the left and right.)
12. Fruit.
13. Sitting down on steps... after backing up to them.

Dis-Likes:

1. Never-ending presidential election coverage.
2. Sleeping, still his long time nemesis.
3. Chicken or any kind of protein.
4. Shots.
5. Not having his mom rock him to sleep.
6. Holding hands with parents while walking.
7. Not being allowed to walk off the curb and into the street.
8. Not being allowed to walk while holding a screw driver.
9. Diaper changes.
10. Vegetables.
11. Sitting in a shopping cart, rather than standing.
12. Unexpectedly hard falls.

Here's the slide show:

Max 100

Hey everybody! Well, it's been a little while between posts... and what do you know. MADDOX IS WALKING!!! WTF? I miss some posts because of work/life/whatever and in the mean time, my son finds it convenient to start walking. Him and I will need to discuss this once he can formulate words a little better. Our talks are currently a little one-sided. He doesn't speak much English and I don't speak much man-baby. We'll work it out though.

So, yes, he is walking. You have to coax him a little sometimes. Sure, you have to downright hold him above the ground enough so that he can't physically crawl, and has no choice but to walk, but he does do it. He also makes all the turns, and can even turn around and go in the complete opposite direction. A couple of observations from watching not only Max walk, but watching a lot of kids his age walk:

1. The walks are really much more of a march, with the way they stomp their feet.
2. All babies walk a little top heavy, and with the appearance of drunkeness.
3. Every baby is just as surprised they are walking as you are.

So other than walking, baby Maddox also suffered his first bloody nose 2 Sundays ago. He's got this hippo piano (don't we all) with ears that stick up on the back. He was standing, leaning over with his hands down on the ears... sure 'nough... the whole piano flipped over backwards and baby face planted onto the floor. And by face plant, I mean still on his feet with his face buried in the floor. He wasn't so much hurt as he was pissed! He was real mad! And, after some consoling, while pushing around another toy, we noticed some blood coming from his nose. Poor little tough guy. He took it like a champ though.

Something I've noticed in the blogs around the family is something called a bucket list, which is a list of things you want to accomplish in your life. I know Maddox would want to get involved, so here's some of his "Pre-Toddler" 100 things to do. We may not make it to 100, actually, I feel pretty confident we won't make it to 25, but here's a start.

0 - 10:

1. Keep choking hazards in mouth for longer periods of time.
2. Graham crackers and Vanilla wafers for lunch and dinner.
3. Keep convenience of diaper without losing play time to change said diaper.
4. Replace dada with another mama.
5. Be completely independent by this time next week.
6. Feel as good as when you wake up from a nap, without actually taking a nap.
7. Make snow angels in the ivy garden in our driveway.
8. Eat all dinners from "food" found on the floor.
9. Learn to communicate by just pointing.
10. Become pen-pals with either the Cookie Monster or Elmo.

That's all for now everybody. I'll try to get some video of Maddox's march. I also will try to capture a little something we call "The Billy Goat". I won't say anything other than that... just keep an eye out for it. Love you guys.

That's Max-tastic

Man it's been fun to be a dad lately. Max is really at a fun age. I know Nicole has been keeping you guys posted while I get slammed with work, but I'm back now, and I'm ready to set the record straight... just incase there were any lies out there.

First of all, Maddox can definitely walk upwards of 8 feet. It's not necessarily fundamentally sound, (given that he has a serious left foot-out-front-lean to him), but that's okay. It gets him there. Plus, in the event he always walks by putting his left foot out front, this can fall into the growing catagory of things that his future significant-other will find endearing. Others on the list are as follows:

• He still throws his food/drink to the floor when done, rather than putting it back on the table. And really, he does this with everything that he is "done" with. Red ball plus 5 seconds... floor. Blue car plus 5 seconds... floor. Dada's glasses plus 1 second... floor!
• He does still poop his pants, but most endearing is that when he does, he prefers it to stay in there rather than deal with the diaper change. Can't say I blame him though... it is kind of a drag.
• He's great at pointing out ne'er-d0-wells (i.e. the homeless). Especially on the subway, when they are in close proximity. So close you can smell them, some might say.

Max has also lately discovered how to shake his head no. It's really funny, although he doesn't quite understand it completely. He may shake his head no, when really he means, yes, I would like some milk. It's a bit confusing for us all, but he'll get it down soon. Maybe I'll get some video of this for you guys.

Other than these tid-bits, he's talking a lot and pointing a lot. Lately, this is my favorite thing he does. He's really good at spotting lights, trucks, cars, the aforementioned ne'er-do-well, ducks and dogs. If there happens to be a lot of lights, he's also been known to wave his pointer finger around to signify "look at all that". It's priceless. I really love that he's asking us what things are. While we were in NYC, and while Nicole was shopping, Maddox and I passed the time by him pushing his own stroller around the store, down all the isles. He'd stop occasionally to grab a low hanging price-tag or shirt sleeve, point at it, look at me, make a noise and move on. He really looked like he was shopping. We did this for hours and it was really fun. I've never had more fun shopping in my life. Maddox is my new shopping buddy.

Here's a revised list of Maddox's likes/dis-likes:

Likes:

1. Riding the subway in NYC with all the people close-by. It's better for him if they are within grabbing distance.
2. His new shoes... which he prefers to wear all the time now.
3. Reading books, preferably in somebody's lap.
4. Pointing at things and having mom and dad answer what it is.
5. Cars/trains of all kinds.
6. Construction equipment of all kinds.
7. He's in love with his momma lately.
8. Papa.
9. Stair climbing.
10. Grandpappy's cane.
11. Drake and Gordon (Aunt Jessi's dogs)

Dislikes:

1. Sleep, this will be number 1 for awhile, if not forever.
2. Diaper changes.
3. Hunger.
4. Falls resulting in head trama.
5. Working as hard as possible to find a choking hazard, only to have it taken away before he really knew what it was all about.
6. Not enough time in the bath-tub.
7. Waking up alone at night.
8. Having someone other than Papa (my dad), momma, or Miss Jackie (his daycare worker) hold him.
9. Mom and dad trying to make him walk when he'd really rather crawl, if that's okay with everyone.
10. Over-cooked pasta in his mouth.

Hope everybody is doing well. Here's an updated slideshow for those interested:

Frosted

Back-to-back videos? Somebody is trying to win back your love. (wink - sup Mrs. B).

Really, I've just rediscovered one of life's greatest lessons... it is, what it feels like it is. It goes like this, for those interested. If it feels like you are always getting the short end of the stick, it's because you are always getting the short end of the stick. If it feels like you are an idiot, its probably because you are an idiot. And in my case, it felt like posting videos to the internets was the equivalent to receiving a kung-fu kick to my doo-dads... because it was a kung-fu kick to my doo-dads. I was making it way harder than it should have been. Man, I really feel like an idiot. Life is too simple sometimes. As it turns out, all video doesn't necessarily have to be 300MB. (Insert geek laughter here). So I sacrificed some video quality for smaller file size and easier upload time. Yeah for me, bad for you (kind of).

So to celebrate my rediscovery, here's another video for everybody. This is Max's first chocolate Frosty experience. Nicole and I still laugh pretty hard at it. Enjoy.

Nicole-A-Pillar

Here's the aforementioned "Nicole-A-Pillar" video. Here's the low down: We bought a tunnel for Max to crawl through for his first birthday, because, well, it's a freaking TUNNEL. How cool is that, right? Well, we found out exactly how cool it is once we got home and started playing with it. We knew Max would love it because he loved it at Ikea. We; however, didn't lower ourselves enough to try it out at Ikea, so when it came home, mayhem insued. Please keep in mind, that while the video is funny, it appears that Max obviously wants to crawl through the tunnel, only the problem is that it's all clogged up with a momma. Max, this is your mother. She means well. She loves you a lot.

A Max Video

No explaination for the lapse in time between posts other than life can really be busy sometimes. As a simple man that enjoys just sitting somewhere and just "being", I generally take issue with busy-ness. Oh well... after washing the smell of work off me, I realized it's been a while since I posted any videos. Below is a video I uploaded last night. It's a video of Max talking while eating a little and discovering some corn kernels in his bib. Also, I think if you watch the video, you will also understand why I think Max is about to choke everytime he eats. Just an FYI... this video took somewhere in excess of 4 hours to upload. I started uploading it, then just went to bed. And it's only about 2 minutes long. If you say that maybe I should have done a little more research before buying our video camera, you'd probably be right, but you'd probably also be a "know-it-all", and we don't really like those people. K? Hope you enjoy the video. Also, stay tuned as I try to upload another video titled "Nicole-A-Piller". It promises to entertain.

What Blessings This Way Come

I love my son. I love my wife. And after a year of baby raising under my belt, I really love my family. God has truly blessed me. Maddox is pure joy. Nicole is the mother every child should have and the wife I needed to have. And, to my own disbelief, I am a dad. What a difference a year can make. What an amazing transformation God has squeezed into a year. Today is Maddox's day. Happy birthday son.

What a weird feeling I currently have. It's somewhat similar to the polar opposite feeling you have when standing in the delivery room. Both excitement at the birth of your first child and fear of what is to come and doubt at your own adequacy. Such a strange feeling. It's like... "Hurry up and give me the thing I'm not sure I can handle. And make it snappy!". But one year later, somehow we did it. And today, my feelings are just as polarized. I'm so happy for Nicole and me for making it a full year. I'm so happy for Maddox and the little boy he's becoming, and the man he's on his way to be. But, the flip side is that I somehow find myself really, truly sad. Verge of tears sad. What I wuss I am! It's only been a year and it's such an amazing accomplishment, but I'm honestly sad because my boy is growing up. Year one is in the books and already I wished I could go back for a day or 2 and soak it in a little more. I'd like to go back to the first time Nicole and I heard him say "Da". Or the first time he smiled at us, and meant it. Or the first time he offered me a cheerio and ate it right in front of my face while grinning and giggling. Oh to relive these times. But I can't. Such is life. More often than not, you have to really nail it the first time around. I know I did the best I could, but sometimes, once just isn't enough. This is why I'm sad.

But, enough sadness already. This is his first birthday and I refuse to be the wet blanket at this sleepover. Help me celebrate his birthday. One full year of grunting, pooping, eating and playing. What a year he has had. I'm going to try and compile a few photos to demonstrate his transformation... the different personality traits he's picked up in a year, if you will.

The You're Boring Me Max


The Concerned that this Monkey Might be Real Max


Bored Max


Happy Max


Poser/Where's the Weight Room Max


Tolerant/Patient Max


Kung Fu Max


Surprised Max


Santa Max


Sucker Max


Attack Max


Hiding Max


Hungry Max


Content Max


Lover Max


Musical Max


Attack Max 2


Cowboy Max


Study Max


Questioning Max


RollerCoaster Max


In Trouble with Law Max


Lochness Max


Burrito Max


Hunter-Gatherer Max


I'll post more photos and videos soon. But for now... have a great birthday Pork Chop. I love you.

Baby Turd

Who here has picked up a baby turd with their hands? Well, say hello to your newest member. Yesterday, while changing a dirty one, the dirty one fell out while rolling up the diaper. Leaving dada feeling alone and scared as he looked around frantically for Nicole. But alas, she was no where to be found. She was unable to hear my cries for help. So I took the "matter" into my own hand. Am I a good father? Yes. But a hero? Yeah, probably. I just did what needed to be done.


Other news, yes, we had a predicament earlier this week. Several spiders have been spotted around the house. 1 under maddox's crib, 1 under his changing pad and a couple in the hallway around his room. Some said brown recluse, but I'm no biology major. Really the only thing I am when it comes to spiders is a wuss major. I don't like them. They don't like me. But now that I'm a dad, and a husband, certain things are expected of me. So I killed them. I also called pest control services , and the price range for their mercenary services came in around $600 for Orkin and about the same for their local competition. No joke. So, for the record, I'm also a cheap-ass... so we sacrificed a little safety and well being by me taking matters into my own hands. I went to Lowe's and bought some stuff and already have found 2 spiders dead and no traces of their buddies anywhere. Scoreboard: Cody 4, Spiders 0. Deal with it spiders!


Maddox news, he's gotten so big. Almost 1 year old now. Where has the time gone? Here's a quick hit of his likes and dislikes.


LIKES:

1. Socks (preferably mine)
2. Cars. He likes to push them all around the house.
3. Balls. He can actually throw the balls to me know. He's been able to for the past few weeks. He's an animal. So far, he can throw a ball at about 2 miles/hour, but I expect this to increase with time.
4. Swinging with dada or mama on a big boy swing. (Infant swing works too, but he likes it if we are with him.)
5. Sliding down the slide with dada or mama, then climbing back up the slide on his own.
6. Funny faces Nicole and I make at him.
7. Cheese crackers.
8. Handing us toys and grunting.
9. Being on my shoulders while I'm moving around.

DISLIKES:

1. Being left at daycare.
2. Falling face first onto a hard surface (at daycare). Get it together Children's Choice!
3. Fear of failure? Really, he's been great lately, so I'm out of dislikes so this one and the following ones are just fluff.
4. Fear itself.
5. Monsters.
6. New York Yankees.
7. Man-eating sharks.
8. Disappointment.
9. Gas prices.

That's all for now. Here's an update on the pictures. Hang in there... there's a lot of them.

Banana Max

Here's Maddox man-handling a banana for dinner. Like I said in my previous post, Nicole and I think it's really funny, but we are his parents, so we would.

Dada Day

Hey all. Didn't have a chance to post on Sunday, because we were living the dream. Sunday after church we went out for lunch and Sunday night was my niece Molly's 3rd birthday party. So it was an event filled day to say the least. Nicole was asking me what were my favorite things about being a dad, so I've compiled a list.

Favs:

1. Maddox crawling on me while playing. Not sure why, but it is one of the best feelings in the world. Especially when there's no good reason for him to be crawling on you. All his toys may be on the other side of the room, but for some reason, he's got to take a route the leads right over my neck.
2. Maddox smiling when he sees me come home after work. Occasionally I'll get a squeal and an arm flap from the sheer excitement of it all. And honestly, how often does this happen to you in life? Most people (including Nicole), give me the "Oh great look" when seeing me. Or the "Look at this guy" look. Thanks for breaking the mold Max.
3. Max reaching for me to hold him.
4. Making him giggle is one of my new passions. For those that know my son, he's an easy smiler, but a hard laugher. You have to work for it if you want him to laugh. He appreciates the effort with smiles, but a giggle is hard to come by.
5. Watching him grow up. It's bitter sweet. I don't know where the time went, but I truly love seeing him accomplish even the most mundane things. Oh, he grunts when he's pooping now? I LOVE HIM!
6. Maddox kissing/biting. He's got one form of love, and that is in the form of a wet kiss-bite. Feel the teeth, feel the love.
7. Him pretending to feed me, only to snatch his hand back and eat whatever he was teasing me with, right in front of my face.
8. The spontaneous river dance like kicking while changing a diaper is just about as funny as it gets. Naked, with a shirt on, flat on his back, but yet kicking his legs like he's dancing on hot coals. Truly greatness.
9. This will sound weird, but sometimes I'm kind of happy he wakes up at night and I get to rock him back to sleep. 1.) because I'm so good at it. and 2.) because working does not leave enough time in the day for me and my son. I miss him some days.
10. Some days, he's most content with me holding him. He'll dig his hands into my collar and hold on, then just stare out at the world and take it all in. I think this may be the best. What a son we've got.
11. Seeing Nicole as a mother. She's pretty much like everything else she does in life, she's a bulldog. She's a really good one. I'm proud of her and happy that Maddox will get to have her as a mama.

Not so Favs:

1. Getting pee-finger.
2. Nicole and I have a game going currently. Whomever gets peed on last, is it. Currently I'm it. And I don't like it.
3. Making baby cry. This can be accomplished by either dropping things on baby's head, or dropping baby on baby's head. This is followed shortly by a crinkled up bottom lip and a look of betrayal from Maddox. Easily the worst feeling in the world. Worse than that, he's telling on me now. He can be completely calm, then Nicole will come in and ask what happened, and it starts all over again. Like he's intentionally hamming it up for Nicole so she'll know what I did.
4. The inconvenient pooper. Sometimes poop shows up at all the wrong times. Lunch dates with family, while trying to buy a car at a dealership, etc.
5. Watching Maddox eat. He's eats like a cobra. Everything in his mouth at once, choking it down.
6. Max in daycare. Even though it's good for him to socialize, I still don't like it.
7. Sick babies. They give you the betrayal look 24/7 until they feel better. And telling them "Hey, this isn't my fault.", doesn't help at all.
8. Lastly, so I can end with more favs than non-favs... I don't like seeing Maddox grow up. It's happening too fast, and I don't like it.

Once YouTube get's their act together, I'll post a cool video of Maddox eating, so we can all see how big he's gotten. Nicole and I find it really funny, but I'm sure it's only funny because we are his parents. Till then, love you guys.

Being Pork Chop

The picture above is the face of our baby Maddox demonstrating that he is indeed a "Pork Chop". I know everyone was wondering about the nickname, but, I think the picture captures it all. This face is really why we started calling him "Pork Chop". It may not make sense at first, but just stare long enough, and it will come. Maddox has had quite a few nicknames to date, but this one seems like it will stick for awhile. At least until he does something strange to garner a new one.

To bring everybody up to speed, Maddox has been saying "Da-da" quite a lot lately. Well, this past week he added "ma-ma" to his list of words, as well as "ba-ba" and "nan-na". So, if we are keeping score, here is his current vocabulary:

• Da-da
• Ma-ma
• Ba-ba
• Nan-na
• uh, uh, uhhhhhhh!
• Bear sound (ahhh)
• A squeel sound
• All of the above 5 times louder than normal
• rasberry (not the actual word, but the noise your tongue makes when it just out of your mouth and sprays spit at everybody).

He's practically a literary genius. I'm not really bragging, but it's true. We all know it.

So, other than the words, he's moving around quite a bit better. He crawled all the way from his bedroom to the sun room where all his toys are. He's standing up on everything now as well. He used to just stand up on me when he played, but now, if it is stable enough to allow him to make it all the way up, he'll stand up on it. If it isn't stable enough, he'll fall over trying, then get pissed when he's stuck on one of his toys and can't get back upright. Sure, he cries, but I don't think the cries are cries of frustration so much as cries of disappointment that his toy has let him down. He has high expectations for all of us, really. His expectations of me are really going to take a ding when he figures out that his da-da: (a.) loves A&M so much that he was actually watching women's softball this past weekend to cheer on A&M (b.) admits to going to the movie theatre to watch a/few Star Trek movies while in junior high school and (c.) met his mother on the internetz. Oh, and (d.) has knowingly worn a black and a brown sock simultaneously because he was tired of looking for a "match", which is really subjective. I found a match that worked for me, okay?

Okay, on to the likes and dislikes for this installment:

Likes

1. Cars. He is really into cars right now. Pushes them all around the house.
2. Choking hazards, in his mouth or hand, but preferably in his mouth.
3. Dancing. He dances to all music, even the "in your head, to your own beat" kind. Oh, and he does have rhythm, at least to the music we can hear.
4. Holding da-da or ma-ma's hand while they are driving.
5. Fruit roll-ups.

Dislikes

1. Head hitting the side of the bathtub, more than once.
2. Being tired.
3. Da-da walking a way when we drops him off at daycare. This is seriously the worst part of being a parent. Today he made me hold him while I filled out the appropriate paperwork. I was able sneak out after distracting him by a pointy, spikey rubber ball. But usually, he's on me like a spider monkey.
4. Carrots.
5. Not being allowed to roll-over on the changing pad.

Here's the updated photos for everybody. Hope you enjoy. Love you guys.

Maddox Mantooth

Sorry for the long time between posts again. There's a nice ebb and flow to my work life and home life. I'm always busy with one, then not busy with either for a few days, then busy again. At least it has rhythm to it though. So much has happened in the past few weeks. I'm starting to realize a rhythm with babies also. It's starting to seem like every 2 or 3 weeks, I wake up and find that Maddox is almost a completely different baby, doing and saying different things. I'm sure he is making little advances every day that go unnoticed, it's probably just that I'm still trying to cope with the changes he made over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'm just always trying to catch up to where he is currently, maybe this is the case for all parents... maybe that's why their babies never grow up. I know this is the case for my parents. I still get reminded to put gas in my car!!

So here are some of Maddox's achievements to date (or at least the ones I know about). He crawls much faster than he used to. He can pull himself up on chairs, toys and parents. He can't quite stand on his own, but if he has something to brace him, he can stand. He definitely knows now that things have an order to them. Like he has certain toys (blocks) that go in a specific red box. If you put something in there that isn't supposed to be there, he takes it out for you. He'll put stuff in there on occasion, but only for a second or two before he pulls it out, because it obviously doesn't belong. And most importantly, he is cutting 4 top teeth at the same time. He's practically a shark.

One of the biggest achievements to date is that this past week he has started to talk to us, as in have conversations with us. Except that most of the talking, outside of the grunting that he does, is done with his hands. It usually goes like this (and I'll sub in what it looks like he's wanting to say, so you can get the gist of it):

Max: "Uh." (both hands open, palms up, like "I'm sitting down. Why am I sitting down".)
Parents: "Hi. What's going on?"
Max: "Uhhh." (hands out, palms still up, "Uh, why am I sitting down?")
Parents: "Hi, how are you?"
Max: "UH. Uh." (hands still out but moving up and down with palms up, "I should be being held right now. But instead, I'm sitting. Why is that?")
Parents: "Wow. Look at you."
Max: "UHHHHHHHH" (hands doing the same, "Am I speaking a different language, or are you a complete idiot? Which is it? I'm waiting....")
Parents: "Oh. How are you?"
Max: "Uh, uh". ("Seriously?")

So that's a little glimpse of the happenings lately. I'll try to catch it on video sometime for everybody. You can make your own assumptions about what it is he is trying to say. But whatever it is, he's pretty emphatic about it.

Here's a quick list of his likes and dislikes at the moment:

Likes:

1. Juice.
2. Oyster crackers.
3. Finger puppets from Ikea.
4. Crawling on daddy while he plays.
5. Pulling a Hispanic girl's hair at day care. (Her mom fixes it for her everyday before taking her to daycare, and Maddox loves it!")
6. Grinding his 2 bottom teeth together with is top tooth that just came in. For the record, it makes the worst sound ever, which is why I think he likes to do it. It's literally like nails on a chalk board.
7. Bath time.

Dislikes:

1. Carrots.
2. Bedtime.
3. Not getting to play with his sippy cup at dinner.
4. Not being allowed to put choking hazards in his mouth.
5. Hunger.
6. Being gradually weened.
7. Sleeping in his own bed when our bed is so close.
8. Cutting 4 teeth at the same time.

Here's some pics: