No Hands Required

Well, I've taken the liberty, now that I've had a 1 day break from work and it's spurs, to invest some time in the blog world and related family updates. I don't know where to begin with Max. Since I fell off the wagon a few months ago, he's pretty much turned into a different child. But I'll try:

The first thing you need to know about Max is that I think he must be developing the athletic prowess that comes from ceither the Bishop/Drake genes, or from my father's genes. His calf muscles are really crazy. Kind of a weird source of pride for me, but they are surprisingly muscular. His daddy did eventually develop some calf muscles, but not until well after puberty. This kid has got them now and it really makes smile. Is it weird to point them out to other people? "Hey, Max... come here and show them your calf muscles!". haha... sorry bud... but you are headed down through the turbulent road toward embarrassment. But for real... if he would slow down for half a second, I would snap a picture, but he's too fast!

Another thing you need to know about pork chop is that his eyes are ridiculously good. He can spot airplanes high in the sky that take Nicole and I a few seconds to locate. And by the time we find them, and say, "Oh yeah, that is a plane", he's already done his airplane sound and is on to better things. He does graciously repeat after us when we say "Good eyes"... he says, "EYESSSS!". He's also quite keen at spotting buses, fire trucks, DART trains and alarms in houses and businesses. He is really enamored with alarms for some reason. He sees them, says "ARM" and then proceeds to make the alarm noises. Perfect example of bad parenting... tonight, I was showing Max that the glass break detector can pick up clapping noises. Then, obviously got carried away clapping (like any normal person would), and wouldn't you know that I set the whole house alarm off. The blaring siren caught me way off guard, because who knew my clapping could actually do that. So naturally, I'm stunned and freaked out, and so the first thing I thought of was to "MAKE IT STOP". So I ran into the kitchen to turn it off before I realized that I left Max right where he was. So, the alarm is off before I realize this, and start coming back for my boy, now realizing that in his eyes, it looked like I was getting the hell out of there and leaving him... what an idiot I am!!! Sorry bud. Dad pretty much goes off of instincts, and his instincts are not so hot sometimes. Naturally, Max came to me running and scared... then after a minute or 2, he wanted to clap at the alarm more. He's an animal.

Oh man... look at this post already. Let me drop a few of the likes and dislikes on you before I set the scene for the newest movie/video installment.

Likes

1. Alarms
2. Fire trucks
3. His drum (good call Nicole)
4. Blackberries, Blueberries
5. Fish (as in gold fish crackers)
6. Hippos
7. His new car bed
8. Tickling other people
9. Climbing on rock climbing walls
10. Kicking
11. Dogs

Dislikes

1. Bed time (his long time nemesis)
2. Pasta
3. Dada appearing to run away when s*** hits the fan
4. Other undisciplined kids messing with his most favorite possessions
5. Mom or dad brushing his teeth against his will
6. Mom or dad doing anything against his will, really

So here's the video set up. Max likes to kick things now. He's really getting good at kicking soccer balls and other miscellaneous items. Miscellaneous items include cars, walls and doors. Max has always been good at shutting doors around the house, but shutting it with his hands is apparently getting old, as you will see in the video. Enjoy everybody. Love you.

Pocket full of Sunshine

Wow, has it really been over a month since my last post? I'm not going to lie... I knew what was happening and I didn't do much to stop it. I was being a little indulgent... just enjoying life. My hours at work have fallen way back, so spending some extra time with Max and Nicole has really been nice. I have a very entertaining family, so I have really enjoyed it. For instance, Max is learning his numbers. The biggest number he knows right now is 9. So discussions with him go like this lately:

Nicole: "Max, how many crackers would you like for your snack?"
Max: "Nine".

While I was away, I've taken the liberty to take a few sweet videos of the Pork Chop. Here's one for all to see... Max has really taken to the challenges that can come with walking. He likes to test the limits on steps, hills, bags of mulch, you name it, he'll try to walk over it. Given that the inside of our house isn't much excitement for such an accomplished walker, Max tries to spice it up a little. This installment has him walking around with his hand in his pocket, you know... for the challenge. Enjoy!


Here's a quick likes/dislikes list, to bring you up to speed:


LIKES:

1. Buses. (Even says "Sit DOWN BUS!" when he sees one.)
2. Airplanes in the sky.
3. Dogs.
4. Firetrucks.
5. Naked running in circles through the house.
6. Bubbles. ("BUBBLES!!!")
7. Spending alone time in the laundry room.
8. Chasing pigeons that stay just out of reach.
9. JUICE! JOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!
10. Strawberries, Blackberries, Blueberries and Green Grapes.

DISLIKES:

1. Bedtime
2. Being hungry
3. Changing clothes and diapers in the morning.
4. Changing clothes and diapers at bedtime.
5. Momma not rocking him at night.
6. Rules restricting his ability to stand on flimsy chairs.
7. Rules in general.
8. Falling.

Pushing it

So... let me paraphrase what was written about Maddox on his Daily Report at daycare yesterday:

"Max was very agressive today. He pushed his friends and tried to bite them."

Uh-oh! Sounds like his teachers don't agree with his method of "affection". Hello daycare teacher... Pain = Love.

But for real... this was what was on his paper. I talked to the teacher about it. She said that he opens his mouth and puts it on his friends, but just doesn't bite down. To me, after conferring with Nicole and Nana, this is his way of kissing. For some reason, Pork Chop likes to kiss open mouth. I won't go into sordid detail on who he may or may not have learned this from (Granny You and Grandpa Bish... you are mentioned here for no specific reason), but it is his way of kissing. So, not too worried about this one. Chances of him open mouth kissing you while you are trying to rock him to sleep are in the 95% range. It's a good night when you don't step out of the room and quietly wipe the slobber off your face. But it is endearing and we all love it.

But, the real trouble comes from accusations of him pushing a specific girl named Madeline or from laying on top of all of his friends, not letting them up. Per conversation with teacher, he lays on them until they start crying to get up. I know I would feel differently if the roles were reversed, and he layed on me and wouldn't let me up, but this is really really funny. C'mon... who does that? What a sight that must be... friend falls across the room, Maddox expertly notices and the race is on.... sweet Maddox shuffling as fast as he can go... fallen comrade, sees Maddox in route, struggling to get up before the flop that will pin him for an indefinite amount of time, then ofcourse, the flop... probably a giggle from our sweet boy... then silence, as Max has makes his body limp, in efforts to maximize his weight distribution... AWESOME! I wished I could see it... but the image I have in my head right now is pretty priceless.

And the pushing down of the girl we will call "Madeline"... apparently there is another kid in the class who actually is a bully. He pushes Madeline down all the time. The teachers said they think Max thinks its a game to push her down, because he sees the bully do it. So I will accept this expanation for now. I haven't seen Madeline, but for Maddox to think its fun, she must really put on a show. I wonder if she makes a funny noise when she hits the ground or something. Who knows... maybe she sweaks. Or maybe candy falls out of her hair or something.

That's all for now... just wanted to fill everybody in.

Benefiber Jokes

Oh the greatness that is having a son! Here's a little insight into how great my life is. A few nights ago, Max was having a snack before bed time. So Nicole, me and Maddox are in the living room watching some TV while Maddox is snacking. One of the commercials that comes on is a commercial for Benefiber. If you haven't seen it and feel like you need to, here's a link: Benefiber Commercial. For those not wanting to waste the time, here's a quick run down. There is a girl in a tennis outfit promoting Benefiber while she moves her body around. It's nothing awkward, just kind of funny considering what they are selling... which is fiber so you can go to the bathroom regularly. So here's the conversation as it took place:

Me: "Nicole, you know why that girl is moving around so much?"
Nicole: "Why?"
Me: "Because she has to POOP!"
Nicole: (silence, hoping the moment will pass.)
Maddox: "HA!"

Oh having a son is greatness already! Sorry babe. You'll warm up to the poop jokes in due time. Just don't force it. (insert hemorrhoid joke here).

Life on the Edge

Well, again sorry for the delay between posts. Dada is still working on the bathroom remodel. This bathroom remodel MUST be worse than child birth. I've been in labor with this thing for 3 months now!!

Max has been super awesome lately. Everything I thought a baby boy would be. Let's see, first things first, he came home from daycare last week wearing his "change of clothes" that are a requirement in case something unmentionable happens at daycare. This unmentionable; however, involves mass quantities of finger paint/body paint. Apparently they were finger painting at daycare last week and something went horribly wrong, leaving Maddox coated with paint - head to toe. See exhibits A and B below. He had paint in his hair (remnants still on the back of his head, even after a washing by his daycare teachers). He had paint all over his shirt... mostly on the back and arms. How he got paint on his back I will never know. It was almost like he was making snow angels with finger paint. And of course, all over his shoes. This is one of those moments that is really too funny to be mad at anybody. Although, lets be honest... the "washable" finger paint is only about 90% washable. And in mass quantities, it really reduces down to be about 75% washable. Don't believe the hype.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Another reason I'm super glad to have a son lately is because he is on the verge of really being able to enjoy live sporting events. As Nicole mentioned in her blog, we all went to the Dallas Stars game and it was awesome. I was so proud to be there with Nicole and my boy! Sure, we were 1 row from the very top, but that doesn't matter. Plus, the higher up you are, the more stuff you can see... and point at. Max was a champ. He sat in his chair the entire 2nd period... just eating popcorn and soaking it all in. Intermission was complete with several Zambonis that we got to see and point at. And the entire 3rd period was viewed while standing in his seat. If you asked him if he would like to sit in your lap so he could see better, you received his patented head shake. He was just happy to be out I think. It was a great first hockey game.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Reason #3 I'm happy to have a son lately... look at what he wanted to do with his chair. Exhibit C below shows his preferred location to sit. New flimsy, lightweight red chair... oh lets put that on the kangaroo climber and hang out up there for a little while. Why not? Let's go ahead and push the limits of "safety" as far as we can. What's the worst that can happen, right? Oh, and yes, this attitude lately has got us a bloody nose last week (the first ever) and 2 bloody lips this week. On Sunday, on the way to church, his body was moving a little too fast for his feet and his face paid the price. Bloody lip number 1. Then at daycare today, more of the same. Bloody lip and all. He's an animal though. He usually only accepts loving for about a minute before throwing his body at the ground for you to put him down. That's my boy!

From First of the Year Pics

His the latest on his likes/dislikes list:

Likes

1. Going Outside.
2. Juice.
3. Living life dangerously.
4. Mama putting him down.
5. Wheels on the Bus (the song).
6. Bathtime.
7. The speed and uncontrolled feeling you get right before you face plant.
8. Stairs.
9. Chairs.
10. Blackberries.
11. His red shoes.
12. Flushing toilets.

Dislikes

1. Actually face planting.
2. Diaper changes.
3. Being hungry.
4. Being done with dinner early, but having to wait at the table while dada finishes.
5. Dada rocking him to sleep.
6. Frustration that his Lightning McQueen won't get on the brick fireplace like he's supposed to!
7. Waking up by himself.
8. Not having his red shoes on.

Baby Max has become Baby Boy Max

Sorry for the delay between posts. Life hit pretty hard. Nicole and I have been working hard working and doing bathroom remodels. I feel like I'm in college all over again... staying up till 1am and 2am. Only now I'm up working, not partying, and I'm trying to be as quiet as I can be, rather than as loud as I can be. Life is funny.

Max is no longer baby Max. He has turned into a little man before my eyes. He's gotten stocky and big. Before too much longer, we're going to have to start warning people about his strength and quickly changing temperament. Do not, I repeat, do not take his plastic screwdriver away from him... ever. Could he possibly fall and jam it in his eye? Sure. But it's HIS eye and HIS screwdriver. And mom already saw it and didn't say anything. So just walk away dad. Just walk away!

He's really been fun lately, outside of a few temper tantrums, and sure... the face slapping. But he means well. He told me he's just wanting to know where the line is, so he knows not to cross it. That is always his intent, really. He loves us. But seriously, he has been a bundle of laughs lately. This may be the best age to have a child. Here's a few of his highlights:

• He's been talking a lot. He has mastered all the consonants. Well enough to use them in really long words or foreign people's names, if he wanted to. Tonight he rediscovered the "L" consonant. So everything he said either ended with an "L" or started with an "L". Previously it was the "GHK". Trianghkle. Sghkuare. Dadaghk. He almost sounded Russian.
• He's also turned into quite the dare devil. Everything in life exists for him to either sit on, stand on or climb on. Falling is a myth. An urban legend if you will. At least it is until dada gets distracted talking to Papa on the phone. Thats usually the perfect time to somersault off the kangaroo climber in the sun room, and land on the floor forehead first, back second. Let the frustration crying and screaming commence. "Where were you dadaghk?" Worst feeling in the world by the way. I'm still kicking myself.
• Lately he has mastered his own spin on the classic animals. He knows which books have which animals, and if he wants to do one of his animal impressions, he'll bring you the book with the correct animal, and do said animal impersonation before you even open the book. It's really funny. It goes like this: "Oh, thanks for the book Max. You want to read it?" Then he gives you his elephant or wolf or cow. Then you open the book to read it to him, and he walks away. It is classic. If only I could remember everything he does. His elephant is a scream. He locks his body down and squeezes out a high pitched scream. The wolf involves him throwing his head back and fashioning his mouth into a circle as he looks at the ceiling. The howling sound isn't quite as scary as a real wolf, but intimidating, nonetheless. And the cow is the same old "moo" sounding cow, but with a really pronounced M.

Okay, I'll try to stop here. Here's a quick list of likes and dislikes followed by some pics.

Likes:

1. Construction Equipment - All Kinds.
2. Papa.
3. Mama rocking him to sleep.
4. Climbing on things.
5. Outside.
6. Riding things or sitting on things.
7. Waving at random people.
8. Plastic screwdrivers capable of impairing his eye site forever.
9. "GHK" sounds.
10. Turtles and monkeys from build-a-bear.

Dislikes:

1. Dada rocking him to sleep.
2. Discipline for face slapping.
3. Falling.
4. Grocery shopping that involves more than 1 grocery store.
5. Pea skins.
6. Diaper changes.
7. When papa isn't paying attention to him.
8. Pasta.

Here's a quick slide show to get everybody up to date. Look how big he has gotten. My boy is a tank!!

Show me your TEETH!

Oh kids are really fun. The two pictures above are what you get when you ask Maddox to "Show us your teeth". Rather than pointing to them like every other body part, he just orients his mouth in such a way to enable you to see them. Much like a grizzly or a great white. It's startling just the same. And much like a grizzly or a great white, he's slowly moving up the food chain. Right now his meals typically consist of graham-crackers, ritz crackers, gold fish or kix cereal. But we are working on him. I think the scientific term for this is cracker-sweets-a-vore. If he would just dabble in the herbivore laire for even a day, it'd be perfect. But alas, such is life... nothing is ever truly perfect, is it?

Other than this bit of fun, dada's turning 32 today. Where did the time go? I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always be stupefied about how quickly time goes by. It's the one thing in life I will never understand. Well, one of the many really. Others would be: 1.) How can food taste so dang good going down one minute and so shockingly bad coming back up a few minutes later? 2.) If we are really supposed to have evolved from monkeys, why are they so hairy everywhere except their butts? Wouldn't this be the exact opposite of us? Not to completely scoreboard anybody here, but: Cody 1, Darwin 0. )

So Maddox has been great lately. He still much prefers his mother over me. I'm kind of on the same level as any other random stranger that looks fun and slightly familiar. But that's okay. I've got one thing going for me. Nobody, and I mean Nobody, can chase him like I can. I'll gladly claim that title. I know you are thinking it's on odd title to claim. And well, you may be right, but then again, it's my birthday today, and I'm taking it. Being chased is really his favorite thing in life right now. Being chased while outside? That's the icing on the cake man. Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Max has also been quite the charmer lately. I know Nicole disagrees with me here, but sometimes when he "gets in trouble" it's really him just trying to entertain and interact with us. Before I go any further, I'll be the first to admit he does push the limits a lot. But sometimes he's just trying to joke around. He does throw his share of fits though. A weird analogy popped into my head the other day. Most of his early fits really happened when he was with Nicole or Nana and Papa. I've really not had a fit thrown on me. At least not until a few days ago. It was really a lot like fishing. Other people on our boat would catch a fish (aka a fit) from Maddox, all while I was within watching distance. Nicole was catching a lot. Nana and papa caught a few. For the longest, I'd see them reel little Maddox in with him flopping around and freaking out. I would wonder, when's my turn going come. I've been out here for awhile now. What's it going to feel like? How am I going to know if it is one and not him just playing around? What's it going to be like and better yet, how big is it going to be? Well, I caught one this week. It was kind of cool. I was thinking to myself, and I swear it was similar to the feeling you get when you feel your line first tug with a fish... "Oh, what's this? Oh. Do I have one?" Then, as Max goes straight leg and the screaming starts low and grows louder with a quickness, I realize that I actually do have one. It was great!! He totally arched his back and started kicking. Legs kicking, back arched, but head, neck and arms completely limp. I've seen bigger, but this one was mine and I ate it up. Thanks pork-chop.

Likes:

1. Being chased.
2. Mama.
3. Outside.
4. Walking in the street.
5. Pushing shopping carts.
6. Graham Crackers.
7. Cars, dumptrucks, diggers.
8. Talking jibberish.
9. Shrek.
10. Making the elephant noise.
11. Slides.

Dislikes:

1. Bed time.
2. Green vegetables not named Pea.
3. Hunger.
4. Face plants while running away from dada.
5. Seeing the back door, grasping at the door knob, yet not being able to get across his intention to go outside to his mom and dad.
6. Not getting comfortable enough to sleep at night.
7. Leg cramps/growing pains.
8. A&M's losing football season.
9. Beef.
10. Bath-tub removal.