Pushing it

So... let me paraphrase what was written about Maddox on his Daily Report at daycare yesterday:

"Max was very agressive today. He pushed his friends and tried to bite them."

Uh-oh! Sounds like his teachers don't agree with his method of "affection". Hello daycare teacher... Pain = Love.

But for real... this was what was on his paper. I talked to the teacher about it. She said that he opens his mouth and puts it on his friends, but just doesn't bite down. To me, after conferring with Nicole and Nana, this is his way of kissing. For some reason, Pork Chop likes to kiss open mouth. I won't go into sordid detail on who he may or may not have learned this from (Granny You and Grandpa Bish... you are mentioned here for no specific reason), but it is his way of kissing. So, not too worried about this one. Chances of him open mouth kissing you while you are trying to rock him to sleep are in the 95% range. It's a good night when you don't step out of the room and quietly wipe the slobber off your face. But it is endearing and we all love it.

But, the real trouble comes from accusations of him pushing a specific girl named Madeline or from laying on top of all of his friends, not letting them up. Per conversation with teacher, he lays on them until they start crying to get up. I know I would feel differently if the roles were reversed, and he layed on me and wouldn't let me up, but this is really really funny. C'mon... who does that? What a sight that must be... friend falls across the room, Maddox expertly notices and the race is on.... sweet Maddox shuffling as fast as he can go... fallen comrade, sees Maddox in route, struggling to get up before the flop that will pin him for an indefinite amount of time, then ofcourse, the flop... probably a giggle from our sweet boy... then silence, as Max has makes his body limp, in efforts to maximize his weight distribution... AWESOME! I wished I could see it... but the image I have in my head right now is pretty priceless.

And the pushing down of the girl we will call "Madeline"... apparently there is another kid in the class who actually is a bully. He pushes Madeline down all the time. The teachers said they think Max thinks its a game to push her down, because he sees the bully do it. So I will accept this expanation for now. I haven't seen Madeline, but for Maddox to think its fun, she must really put on a show. I wonder if she makes a funny noise when she hits the ground or something. Who knows... maybe she sweaks. Or maybe candy falls out of her hair or something.

That's all for now... just wanted to fill everybody in.

Benefiber Jokes

Oh the greatness that is having a son! Here's a little insight into how great my life is. A few nights ago, Max was having a snack before bed time. So Nicole, me and Maddox are in the living room watching some TV while Maddox is snacking. One of the commercials that comes on is a commercial for Benefiber. If you haven't seen it and feel like you need to, here's a link: Benefiber Commercial. For those not wanting to waste the time, here's a quick run down. There is a girl in a tennis outfit promoting Benefiber while she moves her body around. It's nothing awkward, just kind of funny considering what they are selling... which is fiber so you can go to the bathroom regularly. So here's the conversation as it took place:

Me: "Nicole, you know why that girl is moving around so much?"
Nicole: "Why?"
Me: "Because she has to POOP!"
Nicole: (silence, hoping the moment will pass.)
Maddox: "HA!"

Oh having a son is greatness already! Sorry babe. You'll warm up to the poop jokes in due time. Just don't force it. (insert hemorrhoid joke here).

Life on the Edge

Well, again sorry for the delay between posts. Dada is still working on the bathroom remodel. This bathroom remodel MUST be worse than child birth. I've been in labor with this thing for 3 months now!!

Max has been super awesome lately. Everything I thought a baby boy would be. Let's see, first things first, he came home from daycare last week wearing his "change of clothes" that are a requirement in case something unmentionable happens at daycare. This unmentionable; however, involves mass quantities of finger paint/body paint. Apparently they were finger painting at daycare last week and something went horribly wrong, leaving Maddox coated with paint - head to toe. See exhibits A and B below. He had paint in his hair (remnants still on the back of his head, even after a washing by his daycare teachers). He had paint all over his shirt... mostly on the back and arms. How he got paint on his back I will never know. It was almost like he was making snow angels with finger paint. And of course, all over his shoes. This is one of those moments that is really too funny to be mad at anybody. Although, lets be honest... the "washable" finger paint is only about 90% washable. And in mass quantities, it really reduces down to be about 75% washable. Don't believe the hype.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Another reason I'm super glad to have a son lately is because he is on the verge of really being able to enjoy live sporting events. As Nicole mentioned in her blog, we all went to the Dallas Stars game and it was awesome. I was so proud to be there with Nicole and my boy! Sure, we were 1 row from the very top, but that doesn't matter. Plus, the higher up you are, the more stuff you can see... and point at. Max was a champ. He sat in his chair the entire 2nd period... just eating popcorn and soaking it all in. Intermission was complete with several Zambonis that we got to see and point at. And the entire 3rd period was viewed while standing in his seat. If you asked him if he would like to sit in your lap so he could see better, you received his patented head shake. He was just happy to be out I think. It was a great first hockey game.

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

From First of the Year Pics

Reason #3 I'm happy to have a son lately... look at what he wanted to do with his chair. Exhibit C below shows his preferred location to sit. New flimsy, lightweight red chair... oh lets put that on the kangaroo climber and hang out up there for a little while. Why not? Let's go ahead and push the limits of "safety" as far as we can. What's the worst that can happen, right? Oh, and yes, this attitude lately has got us a bloody nose last week (the first ever) and 2 bloody lips this week. On Sunday, on the way to church, his body was moving a little too fast for his feet and his face paid the price. Bloody lip number 1. Then at daycare today, more of the same. Bloody lip and all. He's an animal though. He usually only accepts loving for about a minute before throwing his body at the ground for you to put him down. That's my boy!

From First of the Year Pics

His the latest on his likes/dislikes list:

Likes

1. Going Outside.
2. Juice.
3. Living life dangerously.
4. Mama putting him down.
5. Wheels on the Bus (the song).
6. Bathtime.
7. The speed and uncontrolled feeling you get right before you face plant.
8. Stairs.
9. Chairs.
10. Blackberries.
11. His red shoes.
12. Flushing toilets.

Dislikes

1. Actually face planting.
2. Diaper changes.
3. Being hungry.
4. Being done with dinner early, but having to wait at the table while dada finishes.
5. Dada rocking him to sleep.
6. Frustration that his Lightning McQueen won't get on the brick fireplace like he's supposed to!
7. Waking up by himself.
8. Not having his red shoes on.

Baby Max has become Baby Boy Max

Sorry for the delay between posts. Life hit pretty hard. Nicole and I have been working hard working and doing bathroom remodels. I feel like I'm in college all over again... staying up till 1am and 2am. Only now I'm up working, not partying, and I'm trying to be as quiet as I can be, rather than as loud as I can be. Life is funny.

Max is no longer baby Max. He has turned into a little man before my eyes. He's gotten stocky and big. Before too much longer, we're going to have to start warning people about his strength and quickly changing temperament. Do not, I repeat, do not take his plastic screwdriver away from him... ever. Could he possibly fall and jam it in his eye? Sure. But it's HIS eye and HIS screwdriver. And mom already saw it and didn't say anything. So just walk away dad. Just walk away!

He's really been fun lately, outside of a few temper tantrums, and sure... the face slapping. But he means well. He told me he's just wanting to know where the line is, so he knows not to cross it. That is always his intent, really. He loves us. But seriously, he has been a bundle of laughs lately. This may be the best age to have a child. Here's a few of his highlights:

• He's been talking a lot. He has mastered all the consonants. Well enough to use them in really long words or foreign people's names, if he wanted to. Tonight he rediscovered the "L" consonant. So everything he said either ended with an "L" or started with an "L". Previously it was the "GHK". Trianghkle. Sghkuare. Dadaghk. He almost sounded Russian.
• He's also turned into quite the dare devil. Everything in life exists for him to either sit on, stand on or climb on. Falling is a myth. An urban legend if you will. At least it is until dada gets distracted talking to Papa on the phone. Thats usually the perfect time to somersault off the kangaroo climber in the sun room, and land on the floor forehead first, back second. Let the frustration crying and screaming commence. "Where were you dadaghk?" Worst feeling in the world by the way. I'm still kicking myself.
• Lately he has mastered his own spin on the classic animals. He knows which books have which animals, and if he wants to do one of his animal impressions, he'll bring you the book with the correct animal, and do said animal impersonation before you even open the book. It's really funny. It goes like this: "Oh, thanks for the book Max. You want to read it?" Then he gives you his elephant or wolf or cow. Then you open the book to read it to him, and he walks away. It is classic. If only I could remember everything he does. His elephant is a scream. He locks his body down and squeezes out a high pitched scream. The wolf involves him throwing his head back and fashioning his mouth into a circle as he looks at the ceiling. The howling sound isn't quite as scary as a real wolf, but intimidating, nonetheless. And the cow is the same old "moo" sounding cow, but with a really pronounced M.

Okay, I'll try to stop here. Here's a quick list of likes and dislikes followed by some pics.

Likes:

1. Construction Equipment - All Kinds.
2. Papa.
3. Mama rocking him to sleep.
4. Climbing on things.
5. Outside.
6. Riding things or sitting on things.
7. Waving at random people.
8. Plastic screwdrivers capable of impairing his eye site forever.
9. "GHK" sounds.
10. Turtles and monkeys from build-a-bear.

Dislikes:

1. Dada rocking him to sleep.
2. Discipline for face slapping.
3. Falling.
4. Grocery shopping that involves more than 1 grocery store.
5. Pea skins.
6. Diaper changes.
7. When papa isn't paying attention to him.
8. Pasta.

Here's a quick slide show to get everybody up to date. Look how big he has gotten. My boy is a tank!!

Show me your TEETH!

Oh kids are really fun. The two pictures above are what you get when you ask Maddox to "Show us your teeth". Rather than pointing to them like every other body part, he just orients his mouth in such a way to enable you to see them. Much like a grizzly or a great white. It's startling just the same. And much like a grizzly or a great white, he's slowly moving up the food chain. Right now his meals typically consist of graham-crackers, ritz crackers, gold fish or kix cereal. But we are working on him. I think the scientific term for this is cracker-sweets-a-vore. If he would just dabble in the herbivore laire for even a day, it'd be perfect. But alas, such is life... nothing is ever truly perfect, is it?

Other than this bit of fun, dada's turning 32 today. Where did the time go? I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always be stupefied about how quickly time goes by. It's the one thing in life I will never understand. Well, one of the many really. Others would be: 1.) How can food taste so dang good going down one minute and so shockingly bad coming back up a few minutes later? 2.) If we are really supposed to have evolved from monkeys, why are they so hairy everywhere except their butts? Wouldn't this be the exact opposite of us? Not to completely scoreboard anybody here, but: Cody 1, Darwin 0. )

So Maddox has been great lately. He still much prefers his mother over me. I'm kind of on the same level as any other random stranger that looks fun and slightly familiar. But that's okay. I've got one thing going for me. Nobody, and I mean Nobody, can chase him like I can. I'll gladly claim that title. I know you are thinking it's on odd title to claim. And well, you may be right, but then again, it's my birthday today, and I'm taking it. Being chased is really his favorite thing in life right now. Being chased while outside? That's the icing on the cake man. Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Max has also been quite the charmer lately. I know Nicole disagrees with me here, but sometimes when he "gets in trouble" it's really him just trying to entertain and interact with us. Before I go any further, I'll be the first to admit he does push the limits a lot. But sometimes he's just trying to joke around. He does throw his share of fits though. A weird analogy popped into my head the other day. Most of his early fits really happened when he was with Nicole or Nana and Papa. I've really not had a fit thrown on me. At least not until a few days ago. It was really a lot like fishing. Other people on our boat would catch a fish (aka a fit) from Maddox, all while I was within watching distance. Nicole was catching a lot. Nana and papa caught a few. For the longest, I'd see them reel little Maddox in with him flopping around and freaking out. I would wonder, when's my turn going come. I've been out here for awhile now. What's it going to feel like? How am I going to know if it is one and not him just playing around? What's it going to be like and better yet, how big is it going to be? Well, I caught one this week. It was kind of cool. I was thinking to myself, and I swear it was similar to the feeling you get when you feel your line first tug with a fish... "Oh, what's this? Oh. Do I have one?" Then, as Max goes straight leg and the screaming starts low and grows louder with a quickness, I realize that I actually do have one. It was great!! He totally arched his back and started kicking. Legs kicking, back arched, but head, neck and arms completely limp. I've seen bigger, but this one was mine and I ate it up. Thanks pork-chop.

Likes:

1. Being chased.
2. Mama.
3. Outside.
4. Walking in the street.
5. Pushing shopping carts.
6. Graham Crackers.
7. Cars, dumptrucks, diggers.
8. Talking jibberish.
9. Shrek.
10. Making the elephant noise.
11. Slides.

Dislikes:

1. Bed time.
2. Green vegetables not named Pea.
3. Hunger.
4. Face plants while running away from dada.
5. Seeing the back door, grasping at the door knob, yet not being able to get across his intention to go outside to his mom and dad.
6. Not getting comfortable enough to sleep at night.
7. Leg cramps/growing pains.
8. A&M's losing football season.
9. Beef.
10. Bath-tub removal.

A Grizzly Halloween

From Grizzly Halloween

Wow, what happened to October? Holy moly. It felt like I had been falling down on the job lately, but apparently that is an understatement. Sorry guys. I'll try and make it up with some pictures and videos like usual. It's my equivalent to flowers for the bad husband. If you are left thinking "But, he loves me" at the end of this, then mission accomplished.

On to pork chop... He is learning more tricks by the day. In the past week he's learned to moo like a cow, trumpet/squeal like an elephant and that the "Beep, beep" noise means he needs to take his dump truck backwards. And the latest spin on this is that now while walking, he will actually start to walk backwards when you make the noise, before slamming it into drive and speed walking till he falls down. All of these things, obviously, require Max to quote - "feel like it" before it gets done. Kids these days.

Halloween was a blast. We travelled to Keller to trick-or-treat with the cousins, Jack and Molly. Jack was Optimus Prime from the Transformers and Molly was Gabriella from High School Musical. Max went as a grizzly bear. It was a great time. Surprisingly, even though Max is only 15 months, he really caught on to the whole, "here's my bucket, give me candy" idea. So much so that towards the end, he didn't really even show his bucket to the people so much as just grab for their candy. For the last few houses, he even started taking off his costume. The paws and hat went overboard. He was really awesome. The people were so awe-inspired by his cuteness as a bear cub that when we shamefully apologized for his big paws grabbing more than one piece of candy, one lady said "Oh no, he can have as much as he wants!!" Then, when finished rummaging through their candy and dispensing of his fake feelings for them, he would hustle back to the wagon we pulled him in and he'd point to the next house for us to go. It was a great Halloween.

So, without further a-do... here's a quick list of likes and dis-likes followed by some pictures of Max at the State Fair of Texas (petting zoo), Halloween and him wearing his bear feet tonight.

Likes:

1. Bread. All kinds.
2. Nana and Papa, equally.
3. Momma.
4. Trucks and cars. All kinds.
5. Leaf blowers.
6. Making his feet dance.
7. Wearing bear feet in the days after Halloween.
8. M&M's (chocolate only).
9. Slides and trampolines, equally.
10. Falling asleep to his dada singing "My little buttercup" from the 3 Amigos.
11. Making tight turns while walking. (Both to the left and right.)
12. Fruit.
13. Sitting down on steps... after backing up to them.

Dis-Likes:

1. Never-ending presidential election coverage.
2. Sleeping, still his long time nemesis.
3. Chicken or any kind of protein.
4. Shots.
5. Not having his mom rock him to sleep.
6. Holding hands with parents while walking.
7. Not being allowed to walk off the curb and into the street.
8. Not being allowed to walk while holding a screw driver.
9. Diaper changes.
10. Vegetables.
11. Sitting in a shopping cart, rather than standing.
12. Unexpectedly hard falls.

Here's the slide show:

Max 100

Hey everybody! Well, it's been a little while between posts... and what do you know. MADDOX IS WALKING!!! WTF? I miss some posts because of work/life/whatever and in the mean time, my son finds it convenient to start walking. Him and I will need to discuss this once he can formulate words a little better. Our talks are currently a little one-sided. He doesn't speak much English and I don't speak much man-baby. We'll work it out though.

So, yes, he is walking. You have to coax him a little sometimes. Sure, you have to downright hold him above the ground enough so that he can't physically crawl, and has no choice but to walk, but he does do it. He also makes all the turns, and can even turn around and go in the complete opposite direction. A couple of observations from watching not only Max walk, but watching a lot of kids his age walk:

1. The walks are really much more of a march, with the way they stomp their feet.
2. All babies walk a little top heavy, and with the appearance of drunkeness.
3. Every baby is just as surprised they are walking as you are.

So other than walking, baby Maddox also suffered his first bloody nose 2 Sundays ago. He's got this hippo piano (don't we all) with ears that stick up on the back. He was standing, leaning over with his hands down on the ears... sure 'nough... the whole piano flipped over backwards and baby face planted onto the floor. And by face plant, I mean still on his feet with his face buried in the floor. He wasn't so much hurt as he was pissed! He was real mad! And, after some consoling, while pushing around another toy, we noticed some blood coming from his nose. Poor little tough guy. He took it like a champ though.

Something I've noticed in the blogs around the family is something called a bucket list, which is a list of things you want to accomplish in your life. I know Maddox would want to get involved, so here's some of his "Pre-Toddler" 100 things to do. We may not make it to 100, actually, I feel pretty confident we won't make it to 25, but here's a start.

0 - 10:

1. Keep choking hazards in mouth for longer periods of time.
2. Graham crackers and Vanilla wafers for lunch and dinner.
3. Keep convenience of diaper without losing play time to change said diaper.
4. Replace dada with another mama.
5. Be completely independent by this time next week.
6. Feel as good as when you wake up from a nap, without actually taking a nap.
7. Make snow angels in the ivy garden in our driveway.
8. Eat all dinners from "food" found on the floor.
9. Learn to communicate by just pointing.
10. Become pen-pals with either the Cookie Monster or Elmo.

That's all for now everybody. I'll try to get some video of Maddox's march. I also will try to capture a little something we call "The Billy Goat". I won't say anything other than that... just keep an eye out for it. Love you guys.