The Stroller Rage

Yes, so apparently I need to be a little better informed. Last Thursday's appointment contained no sonogram, or really, no real information that would be fun to mention here. So basically, in order for me to get you a cool, updated picture of Goose, I would have had to cross many of the unmentionable barriers that Nicole and I have in our marriage. So I apologize, I have no new pictures of Goose to share. We did hear Goose's heart beating very loudly this time, and right off the bat... maybe he has a crush on the nurse, or maybe his excitement at not having to deal with a sonogram matched our disappointment. Either way, I was really hoping on sharing a picture of Goose, but what can you do. The doctor said no. And she also added that there won't be a sonogram for like 6 more weeks. So if I promise you anything before then, I am a liar. Don't fall for it.

So anyway, no sonogram for 6 weeks? What fun is that? As the father of this child, and therefore, accepting of no real duties in this process (I'm not growing it nor am I checking its health), my only real involvement is the up keep on this blog. Keeping those that care informed and up to date. Without this task, I'm only slightly more involved in this process than you. Well... I guess when Goose starts kicking Nicole real hard (which is all the time these days), I try to get on to him, but him and I both realize my threats are hollow. So long story short... sorry for not fulfilling the sonogram promise. I have made an attempt to post a slideshow of current photos for you. I'm not sure where it will show up, if it does indeed show up. So if it doesn't appear on the side of this blog, then it means I messed it up somethin' awful. Hopefully it will work. Also, for some reason the slideshow thing I have made crops a little bit off of the bottom of the photos. So if there is one you want to look at closer, just click on the picture when it pops up, (or any of them for that matter), and it will take you to the place on the web where I have the photos stored. You can look at them there in better detail than what shows up on the slideshow. This slideshow should show several rarely seen photos of Nicole as well as our new stroller... which I will get into later on in this blog. And yes, the last photo is of Nicole, holding a goose decoy, pushing our stroller. She's now a few steps closer to becoming a true Texan. Next step would be either clay pigeon shooting or actually adopting the "I'll take a coke." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper" lingo.

Other news not involving sonograms are that Nicole and I have officially been baptized into the stroller phenomenon. We recently purchased a sweet little travel system that consists of a stroller, a car seat and 2 bases that will be installed in our cars. Total time in Baby's-R-Us to purchase said items: well over 3 hours. Why so long you ask? Well... I'm glad you asked. The answer: Baby equipment is unbelievably complicated. Add that to the, "Who Cares. Whatever." attitude by the employees at Baby's-R-Us and you find Nicole and me, helpless, standing in front of a sea of strollers. We were like lambs if you will, left to figure out how the strollers collapse, un-collapse, how the car seats attach to the strollers, etc. etc. Hopefully from the tone I'm typing in, you can still sense some of the frustration associated with the whole process. It was unbelievable. But with bad does come some good. I did learn a few things. And they are, in no significant order:

1. My engineering degrees have put me at no real advantage when it comes to the backwards mechanics associated with strollers.
2. Everything that looks like it should make the stroller do something is color-coded red. Whether it is for the most mundane of uses or not, it is red. Thus inherently creating an endless combination of levers and buttons to push and pull in hopes that something will happen.
3. There are a million types of stroller/car seat combos.
4. None of them fold up the same.
5. To make it personal, I collapse strollers much like I speak to someone that doesn't speak english. To explain: Say I want to fold the stroller to its travel size. Also say there is a nearby red handle. I begin the process by pulling the handle and pushing on the stroller in the direction I think will make it fold up. If nothing happens, I pull the handle a little harder and push on the stroller a little harder. Fast-forward a few minutes and you will find me bracing the stroller with my foot and yanking on the handle like I'm trying to crank-start a lawn mower. If nothing still happens, I ask Nicole the redundant question of, "Am I doing this right?"... not wanting an answer, mind you, just wanting someone to be on the same wave length as me. It's lonely being dumb sometimes. The relation to speaking to someone who doesn't speak english is this: I say, "Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?" They stare and say nothing. I say, "DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS!!!!!!". Nothing. "BATHROOM?"

But, it was great time. The next big purchase will be Goose's bed. We've actually already bought it, but since they didn't have any more in the store (naturally), they had to order it. It should be in on Friday. I'll keep you posted.