Today Nicole and I are now officially way under the 100 day mark. Time really flies by these days. It seems like only yesterday that Nicole was telling me she was pregnant, and only yesterday I wasn't believing her. For those of you that haven't been filled in, which I'm pretty sure nobody has, it happened the Saturday morning before A&M was set to play Oklahoma in football. I was watching the college gameday broadcast live from College Station when Nicole tested out one of her 40 million pregnancy tests. (Side note: Chances of me rembering life-changing dates are substantially better if I bookmark them around sporting events. It's a good tip for younger newly weds. Just fyi.) Anyway, back to the story. Nicole had been thinking she was pregnant for quite awhile, and so she had been taking like 3 or 4 pregnancy tests a day. She said it was because she was feeling different. At the time, I thought she was crazy. I thought she might be trying to pull a fast-one on me so that she could get out of helping me renovate our newly purchased house.
So she takes one for about the 40th time, only this time, instead of a "Nope" from a not-so-distant room, I hear in a quiet, questioning voice, "I think we're pregnant?" Naturally, I say "Whatever", thinking she was just foolin' around. Because for somebody's life to change so drastically, it had better be something a little more substantial than "I think", you know? "Oh, I think your life is going to change forever."
So I looked at the indicator (after Nicole assured me it was clean, obviously) and the only thing you could see was the bare hint that a thought of a line could be there. So I read the directions (which, is what I do.) I read the directions on just about anything. It's kind of my thing. So I read the directions, and although they were direct, I still doubted. They said (paraphrasing) "If you see anything at all, then you are pregnant." Those that have been there know that sometimes the line is not really a line. This time it wasn't really much of anything. It was just barely there. It looked more like where the line would be, if there were a line, but there wasn't. Like if you rubbed your eyes, what was there originally wouldn't be there when you opened your eyes back up. So I still doubted and I thought, can't they do better than this? To me, it seems that for something as life changing as this, not only should the line be CLEARLY visible, it should also take things a step further. Instead of a line it should be a phrase that lights up saying, "Yes, idiot, your wife is pregnant. Tell her you are excited, that you love her and that you will discuss baby names after the A&M game, but only if they win. A loss means you can discuss names tomorrow." Of course, if this were the case, I guess the pregnancy test wouldn't be as small and convenient as it is now. But that would certainly be better than the uncertainty associated with a faint line.
In all honesty though, the uncertainty almost took the luster out of finding out I'm going to be a dad. It almost stole the romance associated with something as romantic as becoming parents. But it didn't. I was still able to experience all the emotions. I was excited. But I was also scared, and worried, and doubting it was true, hoping it was, worried it wasn't true, nervous, wondering if we were ready, realizing it didn't matter now if we were or not, etc. But it was a great time. Seems so long ago in my mind, but now, as we await Goose, well under 100 days away, this day seemed like it was so far away then, and now it's happening. Nicole is huge and her belly moves on its own. We are buying lots of things and making the preparations, but it still is a little surreal to me. It almost seems like it is too early, like we just got married and we just bought our house. Like not long ago we discussed having a kid and what it would be like. And now it's about to happen. But then it also seems like it's about time. I'm tired of waiting and worrying about his health and the troubles we are going to face raising him. I'm tired of wondering what it's going to be like. So, sometimes I'm glad life moves so quickly. Like somebody out there knows that we are ready when we doubt ourselves.
On a different note, Nicole has another doctor appointment tomorrow. They will be doing another sonogram, so I hope to update the blog Thursday or Friday (probably Friday) with the updated Goose pics. I give you no guarantees that his hair will be combed or that he will smile. Until he gets to a point where we can discipline him (i.e. out of the womb), he's pretty much calling the shots. He's in for a rude awakening though... literally and figuratively.